The Unknown Family

In recent months it seems that every time I log onto a social networking site, be it Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, I have to scroll through page after page of anti-refugee posts. In light of all the negative connotations floating around at the minute, I thought I'd share something I wrote on the train from Serbia to Hungary when I was confronted with a young family of migrants for the first time.

Initially I wrote this only for myself, as a way of processing the scene that played out in front of me, but now I feel the need to share my personal experience. I know that some people will feel differently than I do, but for me, this trip helped me acknowledge the faces in the otherwise faceless media coverage.



"Friday 25th - Train to Budapest

Sitting in the four seats in front of me is a family. I can see the back of the Mother and Father's head, I can hear the constant wails of the baby in her arms, and I can see the two young boys and their even younger sister squashed contently into the two opposite seats. Their presence however is made apparent not through sight, but through the smell. The heavy scent of stale sweat and urine fills the entire cabin and initially makes me wretch. With them are several large plastic bags of 'stuff', I can just about make out that one contains some clothes, but the others are a mystery to me.

The Mother and Father are dirty, their clothes, their face, their hair. Much like her parents, the little girl is dirty, she also has a tendency to wander and sprints up and down the isle giggling as she goes. She is the one who intrigues me the most. I would say that she is no older than three years and still has a small amount puppy fat that gives her a cute little pot belly. Clothes wise, it's not great, I am guessing that her jumper is supposed to be white, but the colour is far closer to a shade of brown, whilst her purple corduroy trousers are black and muddy on the knees and bum. She has enormously wide deep brown eyes that stare with innocent enthusiasm at everything, including myself, surrounded by gloriously long black lashes. Her beauty is obvious, and somehow manages to be the first thing I notice about her face, but when I look for longer the sheer grubbiness of her skin shocks me. Dark circles encase her eyes and a clump of mud has dried behind one of her ears, her short hair is matted to the point of dreadlocks.

The eldest of the boys, probably 11, has clearly taken on the role of ring leader. He commands his sister to sit down, and rewards her with a kiss and a kit-kat when she does. He too is laughing the majority of the time, when he opens his mouth I can see that his front two teeth are badly chipped and the rest are discoloured. I think it is his optimism that saddens me the most. Somehow the innocence of the three of them makes the situation worse, the fact that for them this is just another day of their childhood. From what I can make out, I think the father has fallen asleep, and the son has taken on the responsibility of his siblings, consistently showering his sister and the baby in kisses, whilst he entertains his brother with a series of animated hand gestures that makes them both howl.

I have the strange feeling that this isn't a journey that I will forget. In years to come when people talk of the 'migrant crisis ' I know that this is what I will think of. This exact point. This family, these people, this smell. I wonder where they will be in ten years time, what their future is, where they will call home.

This I will never know.

I can of course pretend that they make it to prosperous Germany or England, that they are given some sort of social housing and the children are provided with a decent education. That in ten years the bright eyed, dirty girl is stressing about her GCSEs and boys, her face clean, her hair long and smooth. That her brother is finishing university and is an annoyance rather than a carer. I can imagine that she has forgotten all about this journey that she is having to make, about the anguish which her parents must be suffering, about the filthy white jumper.

I can see it.

Unfortunately I also know the probable outcome. I know that the Hungarian border is closed for them, that they are not wanted here or anywhere else. I know that even if by some miracle they do make it to the West the life that is waiting for them isn't going to be what they imagined. An unskilled, minimum wage job - if any - for the father. A flat too small for the six of them, no money and limited schooling. It is hard to imagine a situation where this is the better option, where the unknown is still more promising than staying where they were. I can imagine that we both share the same fantasy scenario, that this chance, however small, is what they cling to.

Still the baby cries."



After I finished writing this the family quickly disembarked the train at the last stop before the Hungarian border. I will never know what happened to this family, but it changed my somewhat shallow view immediately. It is easy to dehumanise a situation when you only see it through a screen, to remove the individual cases and lump them all together, I know I did, but in situations like these the reality hits home with a blunt force.

I hope I never forget the face of the adorable little girl with the beautiful wide eyes.