Monday, 15 August 2016

The Countdown Begins

I'm back! Well I never really went anywhere, and I suppose that's been my problem since I came back to England, but I'm back not being back…

Seeing as my last post was an unforgivable amount of time ago, I'll recap how things ended for myself and my European adventure. Through the genius that is Workaway, I managed to get myself a very lovely job working at a fabulous hostel in Bratislava, Wild Elephants. Responsibilities included checking guests in and getting them drunk. Which really was a dream, but as with most things, money gets in the way, and a lack of it more so. So with a pitiful 19p in my bank account, and the heaviest of hearts, I returned home.

I'll give you some context about my hometown, a recent article in The Guardian by Mike Carter on Brexit (don't even get me started on my rage/embarrassment about that whole façade) sums up Nuneaton in a description as accurate as it is depressing. “Nuneaton, the home town of George Eliot and Ken Loach, had more charity shops in its high street than anywhere I’ve ever seen. And some of those charity shops had closed down. What does it say about a town when even the charity shops are struggling?”

Now, I don't want to seem heartless here, it was so wonderful to give my parents a long anticipated cuddle, catch up with all the people who had made my life here complete and meet my lovely new god son. It really was. I adored the small things as well, having multiple pillows on my bed, being able to leave my shampoo in the bathroom without it getting pinched and the knowledge that I had more that two outfits, but inevitably things began to feel much the same as before I left.

I woke up, went to work, went to the gym, came home. Repeat. Maybe on a weekend I'd spend all the money I'd earned that week in the one, very questionable, night club our town has, but that's about the long and short of it.

Sometimes people would ask about travelling, and at first I was so keen to inspire others to travel, but even that wore very thin very quickly. Every time my stories of the magnificence of being really and truly free fell on deaf ears or were reciprocated with a bemused smile and an elongated silence, I lost another part of where I'd been, what I'd achieved. So in the end I stopped answering questions with anything more than a “yeah, it was good thanks” which seemed to satisfy. Then suddenly, I woke up. I mean properly woke up, and four months had passed. In this time I'd found myself both made redundant and promoted in a new job. The mundanity that made up my everyday life had seemed acceptable, however it promptly became an obscene elephant in every room I entered. So the frantic saving began.

At first I wasn't entirely sure what it was I was saving for, Australia floated around in the back of my mind like a hazy, unachievable, dream. I could (should) learn to drive, I could (shouldn't) get a flat, there were plenty of things I could/should/shouldn't do with this money. However, somewhere deep inside me, I knew what it was for, but the idea and the reality were two very different things, and the reality was overwhelmingly enormous.

And then it was August. Eight months had passed. I'd been back as long as I'd been away and that really was a horrific sensation.

Something inside me needed to go again, and needed to go quickly. The same primal sense of running free that I’d had last year came back and I hit me like a truck. It tore my world apart and threw me into a free fall, I simply could not go on living how I was.

 With a sense of déjà vu, I quit yet another job and booked yet another one way flight and rescued my lovely backpack from the attic. Somewhat further afield this time, Brisbane, Australia but I guess it's a similar premise to before though. Hostels and backpacks and long ass busses and washing my pants in sinks. And I can't wait!

Two weeks Aus! Be prepared, because I’m not.

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